Wednesday, December 09, 2009
sigh after one year, i am truly, truly tired. maybe jc life isn't suitable for me. maybe i chose the wrong subjects. maybe this, maybe that. all these thoughts go through my mind everyday. all the time. life was really..nothing enjoyable for me. maybe not nothing. just..not interesting anymore. i am no longer interested to make friends nor study hard. its stupid, you may say. it is stupid.
my everchanging ,mood is something i need to deal with too. haha sometimes i can't control myself i just want to lash out on someone. and i got nothing, nothing to work for now since now i can't go for hockey nor go out. i am truly, cut off from the outside world. besides the occasional 'study sessions' outside ;) , i am home 24/7, messaging. even the messages i sent out are not replied at times. guess i'll just..live with it. sigh.
maybe it is all excuses. maybe i am really worthless. i can go unnoticed by poeple. sometimes i enjoy the quiet. but when the lonliness overcome you, thats when i know when i am truly lonely. i have almost no one to turn to.
i should get out of this mood. haha.
